Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
