Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
