Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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