in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Sober January is a disaster.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
