i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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