we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
