How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
