i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i've created a new STD.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
