u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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