oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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