I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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