and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
