you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
