He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
