Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
