I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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