Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize