The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish you could order shots online.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize