quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
