the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
