you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
