so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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