I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
