they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sext me about skeletons
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
