Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is Oprah even human
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
