So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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