i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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