rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
