I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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