i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
These tits shall not be calmed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
