used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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