You're so nebulous sometimes
from now on my penis is your penis
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
