Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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