Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
