yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
