Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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