i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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