im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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