Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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