oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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