I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
