i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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