last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm just crazy horny about you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
