What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just pee around me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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