I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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