oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
