I CAN MOONWALK!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
