I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
