so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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