I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you would pick up someone in the library
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
