is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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