Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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