You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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