well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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