Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
