I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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