She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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