I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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