I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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