i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
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I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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