I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
