We need to start having sex underwater more often.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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