wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
