would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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