You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
