well I can't set my house on fire every night
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
